500 words a day
Today I saw a post from mamamia on instagram, one of those silly e-cards things saying ‘Dear Mother in Law, I don’t need you to teach me how to handle my children. I live with one of yours, and he needs a lot of improvement!’.
I mean LOL!
At first it didn’t bother me. I think I have a good relationship with my MIL. We get along, we can have interesting conversations and I genuinely like and respect here. But what drew my anger what the concept of your husband as a child. And that he needs a lot of improvement. Yes, because men are something we need to fix, and we only get into relationships so we can make them the men we want them to be, rather than who we are. Oh, women, never happy! I think Sabrina the Teenage Witch made an excellent episode about this once….
Now, I know that this particular e-card doesn’t saying anything about the husband being a child, but it made me think of all those silly memes on the net which says stuff like ‘I have three children – two kids and my husband’ or something to that effect.
To me, labeling your husband/partner, whether you are in a same sex relationship or a heterosexual relationship, as a child, is incredibly offensive. I hate it when men make comments about wives being a ‘ball and chain’ or complain about being ‘whipped’ or ‘under the thumb’. In my experience it irks a lot of women to have things like that said about them. In my opinion, this kind of joke, about the husband being the extra child in the house, is just as derogatory, and is disrespectful to the relationship. Ok, so, if your husband acts like a child and takes no responsibility in your lives or relationship, do something about it. Making a joke about it makes your relationship seem pathetic. What, like you’re the martyr mother, endlessly suffering for the good of your family? Oh, please. How 1950’s. And if your husband is a good, equal worker in your life, taking responsibility, how disrespectful of him!
I think in general these kinds of comments are disrespectful of your relationship. Saying things like this will put people offside. They won’t think ‘poor you’ they’ll think ‘well why the fuck are you still with them, then?’.
I am not, by any means, saying that all men are perfect. But I think these snide comments from women, about how hard life is with their partner, does nothing to resolve the issue. Same as men ‘joking’ that they’re on day release, or are under the thumb. Are we endlessly going to pick at each other, degrade each other and live in joyless relationships? Can we not move on, acknowledge that yes, sometimes women are complete bitches and men are sometimes complete fools.
Ok, I am too annoyed to make my point clearly. So I end with this. Can we stop shitting on our relationships? And if not, get out of it. Or, if you want to be miserable for your whole life, keep it to yourself.