A slower start to the year.
2014 was supposed to be the year I wrote very single day. And I started off really well. Right up to January 5th. Yup. A whole five day run. In those five days I published some blogs and photos, and wrote a couple of blogs in the hope of having a backlog and a schedule for publishing.
And then on the evening of the 6th while I was visiting family, my two-year-old dog and dear companion chased a cane toad, caught it, and died.
January has since been a time of grieving. I have spent a lot of time writing, not only blog posts, but memories of my dog and in my journal. I have started many blog posts, and am hoping to edit them and publish some this week. I have found it hard to be motivated, even in the boredom that comes with the exhaustion left after crying. I take comfort in the fact that rather than preventing me from writing, I have been drawn to pen, paper, keyboard and screen as much as I hoped. I just haven’t been able to publish. Luckily creativity and positivity have channeled themselves in the way of my garden – I no longer have a bare backyard, but one slowly taking shape with all kinds of amazing things.
I am hoping in the next few days I will start to publish. And this isn’t a post of excuses. But grief and loss are private, and while this is a teeny tiny blog with few followers, I wasn’t ready to start publishing yet. It took me a fair while to post to facebook and instagram that he had died. So hopefully it will start again, fresh.
In the coming days I hope to have a post on baking bread, gardening, what I have been reading and January reflections. I am hoping month-by-month reflections will make me take closer and better stock of the year, and slow the passing of time down. I hope, that at the end of the year, I will be able to look back and think ‘ah yes, this was a full year’.
I just regret it started so sadly.